This blog post is not easy to write. I put off sharing why I am no longer vegan and what it means for the blog. Trigger Warning: This post is about eating disorders.
Deciding not to be vegan anymore was one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever had to make.
I don’t usually share a lot of personal information on the blog, but I want to be completely transparent with you.
I first went vegan when I was 19 years old. As a child I had many health problems. When I adopted a vegan diet, my health problems seemed to have disappeared.
Fast forward to last year, I started to develop some health issues. I had a very healthy pregnancy two years ago. After I stopped breastfeeding, something changed and I started craving shellfish and battled it for months. I think that after breastfeeding something has changed in my body.
I never wanted meat or eggs when I was vegan before my pregnancy. This was such a strange feeling for me.
When I became vegan, it became my identity. I changed who I was as a person. How could I stop being vegan? When I first thought of introducing animal products, I didn’t do it right away because of other people. What would people think?
I have a cooking blog dedicated to vegan recipes. Many vegans can judge and I didn’t want to upset anyone with my personal choices.
After months of discussions, I finally started incorporating animal products into my diet.
I did a test to see how I felt and if this was something I was fully committed to. After reflecting on this new change, I realized that being vegan was related to my Easter binge eating disorder. It was very easy to control my erectile dysfunction when I was vegan because when I went out to eat or to parties, I could say that I couldn’t eat anything because I’m vegan.
Now I realize that this is not the way to live and I need to learn how to deal with my erectile dysfunction, which has been very bad for the last few years. I suffer from depression and anxiety and when my anxiety is very high it triggers my binge eating disorder.
I am now learning to find the freedom to eat and eat intuitively and feel much better.
What does this mean for the blog?
I thought about stopping the blog or starting a new one, but I didn’t want to have to. I love sharing recipes and I want to continue doing so because it gives me a lot of joy. I thought about continuing to share vegan recipes, but I want the blog to reflect the recipes my family currently eats.
I will continue to share many vegan recipes, but now I will start to incorporate recipes with meat and dairy.
I realize you might want to unfollow me if you don’t want to see non-vegan recipes, I fully understand.
I can’t wait to start this new journey and chapter in my life.
Thanks for listening, Jeni.